Friends can be found in the darkest places

It’s often said that we choose our friends – but we have to find them first. We make friends from the people we cross paths with, from our schoolmates, neighbours, co-workers and people who share our leisure pursuits. We might choose friends who have similar interests and outlooks to our own. But not always. Sometimes opposites attract.

That’s certainly the case for Matilda and Doris in my novella, Stolen Summers, the prequel to Matilda Windsor Is Coming Home. Coming from different sides of the social divide, I doubt they’d have met if not for Ghyllside psychiatric hospital.

On their first encounter, their differences drive a wedge between them. Matilda thinks Doris is an uncouth bully. Doris thinks Matilda is a snob. How could I get them to form an alliance?

They could have bonded over the loss of a child, except that neither woman can talk about their grief. They could have joined ranks to battle the oppressive asylum system, except that Matilda is reluctant to rock the boat.

What actually unites them is consistent with a concept of friendship I discovered when researching this piece. In an article for Psychology Today, Karen Karbo cites research by social psychologists Carolyn Weisz and Lisa F. Wood suggesting our closest friends are those who understand, and endorse, our most treasured social identity. You can read more about that here:

Friendship: The Laws of Attraction

Neither Matilda nor Doris relishes her identity as a psychiatric patient. Nor do they strongly identify as mothers. But they each support the other to maintain a view of herself that the institution would otherwise suppress. Doris needs to see herself as exempt from the petty hospital regulations. Matilda needs to see herself as moral, a credit to her mother, despite society’s condemnation of her status.

If you’re interested in the theme of identity, you might also enjoy my short story collection, Becoming Someone.